Review for: bebegracie
First Impression
Whoo! I am older than you! This means that--with my advanced years--I can talk down to you and you can do nothing about it! Afterall, I AM YOUR ELDER! Best recognize. Oh, but I kid. On a serious note however, I'm not too sure what having no sheets on a mattress does for displaying one's spiritual bits. And I see a number of grammatical errors on your current index page. I'd say those say more than badly made beds ever would.
Layout: 10/25 → 23/25
I know what I said in the rules, so no one has to remind me. However, I think it is fair for someone who has waited--what, two years?--for a review to change her template. It's her right and her prerogative, damn it. But it's my right to combine paragraphs from yester year and today so that we might properly reflect on what your diary projects now. So, here's the deal: it's time to compare and contrast, and everyone loves to compare and contrast. Like, when you're shopping, and you wear two different pairs of shoes at the same time. It just makes for a fun, and well thought out, time.
Anyway, I want you to reminisce with me because we're going back. Way back. Think of the days when you had a layout with pictures of you and your friends and boxes that scrolled and everything was pink, for it is that layout we will discuss first. There were a lot of drawbacks to that template of yours. While I appreciated the personal touch of the photographs, I didn't appreciate the colors so much. The link colors were too similar to the background and faded into everything on which your links rested. Also, when I view sourced your page, I saw that your code was an utter mess. There were tables where there shouldn't have been tables and code where there shouldn't have been code. Had you still displayed this template, I would have suggested that you do the ol' switcheroo. Like you did, and I must say that I have been appeased. Francey does a good job with websites, so you made a smart move choosing such work. Link colors aren't awful; code is clean; it's just a good template.
Now, I would have awarded this one full credit, but the transition of your pages is annoying. Perhaps if I were still twelve I would be impressed, perhaps even mesmerized by the whirling, swirling of your diary loading. But I'm not twelve, and I'm not impressed. When I am online, I don't want to have to wait forever for the page to load, let alone for it to find the time to unveil itself to me. Other than the transitions, you lost points for your title. Not because of what it says, but because of its grammatical mistakes. As a title, it should be treated and capitalized as such. That's it.
Errors: 3/10 → 10/10
There was a lot said here when you had your old template, but now with your new one I find no major or fatal technical fouls. Awesome.
Content: 30/50
And here we are, dear. We are at the meat of the review: the part I would imagine is the only part anyone really ever cares about. But before we get started I want you to know right up front that I did not read all of your entries. I mean, you have one THOUSAND of them, and I don't have that sort of stamina. Remember: I'm old. So, just to let you know, this is where I started, and I read until I could click next no more. And let me tell you something. That entry lacked a certain--how to say it?--depth. I understand it, though, and I found it amusing to a small degree. Upholding the updating standard can be a bitch, and with a few words you mocked it. I think. I mean, I could be wrong in my interpretation. But if I am, let's not ruin it. There's plenty opportunity to do that elsewhere. Like with bad badly copied and pasted articles that don't really count as an entry. Or with the ever prolific lyrical entry. But even those haven't irked my reviewing nerve yet. I understand. How can you write interestingly when there is nothing interesting to write about? Honestly, you can only write a truly interesting entry about nothing once, and that's it. If you try to recreate the image of nothing again, then you become that weird diarist that writes about nothing for nothing and everyone reading imagines that you smell like patchouli and Cheetos. Seriously.
But I digress.
These two entries start the same. I actually did a double take. Upon said action I noted that the latter of the pair is far more substantial in content. The disconnect you felt with people was almost echoed by your staccato sentences. Almost. That is something I would like to believe as an English fanatic, but cannot as a diary reviewer. Really, the entry strikes the chord of someone writing hurriedly and guardedly, and this is coming from a girl who is queen of being vague. I can't say I don't empathize though. While you never really expound in great detail, you do in bits, and that's more than a lot of online writers. But like most of those writers you follow a trend I touched on already. Lyrical entries. All right, so you like music and your iTunes library is a mess. Does that really mean that your diary has to be as well? Look inside your heart, woman, and find the mercy from within to stop the madness. If you do get the compulsion to copy and paste the words of another, at least tell us in your own words why you needed that person's particular expression at that particular moment.
Tell me: have I just picked a bad place to start? Because this is my growing sentiment. However, I must confess to not hating you. Each of your entries, while short and sometimes empty, is a brief glimpse into your life, and that is what a diary is, despite its length. And there is occasional humor. Plus, you are not totally devoid of emotion or retrospect. But out of ninety-seven entries, nothing grabbed me. I never became any more invested than I had to be as a reviewer. All of the glimpses you offered of your life seemed skewed and blurry to me as a stranger, and I never found myself straining to see you more clearly. Consequently, you get points for having entries, but you lose points for not developing them.
Grammar: 5/10
You have spelling mistakes, but you admit to being a horrible speller and I don't except you to write everything in MS Word like I do (because I am anal retentive). So bottom line is that I can deal with your spelling mistakes. But while I will turn a blind eye to spelling, I can't very well do that to everything else. Sure, you have a handle on sentence structure, but not so much on punctuation. Apostrophes are not to be used for plurals unless making letters and/or numbers...plural. Periods are not to be abused. Commas can change the world. Besides, you are twenty: type like you are twenty, damn it.
Updating: 5/5
One THOUSAND entries? Yeah, because I'm going to penalize that.
Target Audience
Um...people?
Extra Points: 15
Firstly, you waited for this review, literally, forever. But some of the things you wrote made me chortle. Like, "tehehe" and "oh, hohoho." That sort of thing. One of these things happened to be on your about page.
14. Speaking of Psychology, I am doing A-levels in that, sociology and religious studies. Unfortunately I lack inteligence to excel, but have competence to succeed. So that averages at about a C.
I enjoyed your wording there quite a bit. I also enjoyed this. Whenever I Google myself, I just end up with a whole lot of porn.
Additional Comments
Thank you for waiting. Your patience shall be that of lengends.
Total: 88/100
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